Difficult days lead to late night conversations
by canny-bairn
Summary: He's always known that she's the strongest member of his team. He just wished she realised that.
1. Chapter 1

_**#Disclaimer - I don't own anything related to Criminal Minds, unfortunately!**_

_**Hi so this is my next venture into fanfic land! It's just a friendship piece between JJ and Hotch but you're more than welcome to read more into it if you wish! I've got to thank the brilliant KDZL for beta reading, you are amazing **___

_Difficult days lead to late night conversations _

_He's always known that she's the strongest member of his team. He just wished she realised that._

Kneeling on the floor in a dirty barren room, she had a hold of the young girl's hand and the tears were running free now. The lead detective was outside the room trying to control his nausea and Hotch, Rossi and Morgan were cautiously following the blood trail to the room where their colleague was struggling to cope. It had been an extremely long case and it had ended very badly.

_Knowing that if the UNSUB followed his usual pattern, the BAU team had six hours before they'd get the phone call for the eighth time. While the profilers were focusing on the geographical profile, JJ and the lead Detective, Mack Grimshaw, had gone to inform Jeffrey Hancock of the death of his daughter over an hour ago. Hancock was obviously emotional, and as his ex wife lived over four hours away, the media liaison and lead detective had discreetly insisted that they'd stay with him for a little while longer. As he was the father of the first victim, the team been in constant contact with the greying man since they had arrived and he appeared grateful that he wasn't left alone._

_Jeffery Hancock was a large man, he had speckled grey hair, wore glasses and he was apparently a dedicated angler. Around the living room there were many photos of Hancock's fishing trips, with him, centre stage in all of them. As JJ scanned the pictures, she found it odd that his daughter did not appear in any, nor did it seem apparent that any of her belongings were visible in his rather cluttered living room. On their first meeting, Hancock had come across as bashful and rather awkward but determined to find his teenage daughter who had been staying with him for the summer, but as Grimshaw was detailing the arrangements to let Hancock see his daughter, JJ realised he didn't even ask what had happened to her. _

_Unexpectedly, a loud clatter echoed through the house from one of the back rooms and Hancock's eyes abruptly transformed from a grieving father to a sinister culprit. JJ's hand immediately went to her side arm. Hancock did not fit the preliminary profile; he wasn't isolated, or impotent, nor did he have a previous record. But sometimes they were just wrong and the seasoned agent knew from the violent crime scenes, that this might not end well for anyone in the room. _

_Upon realisation that his company knew he was the one who had abducted, tortured and brutally murdered the young girls, including his own child, and his last victim was in his house trying to escape, he lashed out, knocking down Detective Grimshaw with a single blow, forcing JJ to protect herself. She killed him with her first shot. _

_Guns were drawn as JJ and the detective stepped over the lifeless body eager to investigate the frantic noise from down the corridor. Detective Grimshaw unlocked a bolted door where the noise emanated from. As JJ prepared to enter, a frenzied figure thrashed out trying to find her freedom, the young girl's brown eyes were wild like an animal that had unwillingly been held captive. Beaten and bloodied, their eighth victim, Molly, was thankfully still alive but she was also disorientated and scared. She fell backwards into the security of the far wall refusing to listen to the others in the room. As the guns were slowly being placed into holsters, Molly took advantage and pushed past JJ and intentionally avoided Grimshaw while she tried to find her own way out without the help of the two law enforcement officials. The whole situation wasn't looking good, Molly saw Hancock's limp body in the corridor and retreated back into the inhospitable dull room where she had been imprisoned. Noting Molly's dread of his presence, JJ silently communicated to the veteran cop to withdraw. Cooperating he turned his attention onto contacting the team and phoning for medics._

_Molly was bleeding from where the restraints had been and the blood was getting everywhere as the seventeen year old tried to steady herself. Looking into her eyes, JJ could see how tired and frightened the young blonde was, desperately longing for the pain to end. Patiently and professionally the female agent had gradually managed to start a conversation with the scared teen and slowly Molly began to respond to JJ's empathetic words. Grimshaw appeared at the doorway, to let his counterpart know that help was on the way, he made eye contact with Molly and rapidly the rapport JJ had made with her disintegrated. Molly panicked, stumbling backwards and crying she reached out and took hold of sharp piece of glass and placed it to her throat. _

_The few minutes it took the medics to get there felt like hours and in light of the situation it would have had no impact. Hotch led his two male colleagues towards the small suburban house, passing the medics as they vacated the crime scene. Entering the living room it was obvious that there had been a struggle as photos were unbalanced, tables were destroyed and papers were carelessly scattered on the floor. Then the smell hit him. No matter how many crime scenes he walked, the coppery smell of death caused his stomach to churn with unease. Turning the corridor he met Rossi's eyes as they both mentally berated themselves for not identifying Hancock as the UNSUB sooner. His body was sprawled out and blood spatter radiated from his headshot wound. _

_There was blood everywhere and they could see the tall, well built almost fearsome detective finding it hard to control himself outside of a room at the end of the corridor that all three knew they'd rather not enter. When they did though, none expected to see what they did. Their strong and professional media liaison crouched over the body of the young girl they had so desperately tried to find. The detective struggled to control his emotions as he re-entered the room behind the three male agents who were focused on watching their female colleague sobbing. He respectfully spoke softly to the concerned profilers of the ordeal he had witnessed. _

Morgan and Rossi remained still as they watched Hotch slowly approach JJ, crouching down and placing his hand on her back. He made soothing noises in her ear, telling his weeping friend that she had to let go of Molly's hand which she reluctantly did. JJ placed her now free hand on Hotch's arm and willingly sobbed into his chest. He told the other men in the room to leave and he sat with JJ until she pulled herself together. He knew that this must have been incredibly difficult for his colleague. JJ's emotions were clearly amplified not just because she had to go through what she did but also because he knew it must have brought thoughts of her older sister. He was well aware that she had recently broken up from the father of her child and was struggling to deal with the tolls of single motherhood and ultimately it didn't help any that none of his team had slept or ate very much since they arrived.

When JJ regained her composure they slowly left the small suburban home joining their friends on the lawn outside the crime scene tape. Morgan, Rossi and the detective were going to go back to the precinct to join Prentiss and Reid to close the case while Hotch told them he had to take JJ back to the hotel. All five watched as the coroner brought out the UNSUB and Molly's body and, in sync, they became stoic as the merciless reporters started to swam the neighbourhood. JJ became stubbornly adamant that she should stay and help deal with the onslaught of press but Hotch refused and practically forced her into the SUV. For thirty five minutes they drove in comfortable silence, Hotch kept stealing concerned glances towards his friend who was still silently torturing herself.

They got to the hotel in the city centre quietly making their way up to the floor where the team rooms were allocated. As they hovered outside JJ's room, Hotch broke the now laborious silence asking his fatigued co-worker if she wanted him to stay a while to talk but she refused wanting to shower and sleep so they parted at her door. She turned back when she heard her name being called in a whisper, Hotch almost pleadingly told her he'd be staying up late if she needed someone to talk to, which she thanked him for but said was unnecessary.

By the time the rest of team had all made their way back to the hotel, JJ had managed to get herself sorted and out of the shower. All of her team mates granted JJ her privacy, leaving her to wallow in her guilt. She phoned Garcia checking in on Henry and was about to curl up to watch 'The Daily Show' when there was an abrupt knock at the door. She knew who it was before she looked through the peep hole but still checked anyway confirming her assumption. Hotch stood there dressed in casual clothing and wore a concerned look to finish his appearance.

She opened the door. Hotch flinched, not finding comfort in what he saw. JJ's hair was still wet from her shower; her usually vibrant, electric blue eyes looked absently dark, sore and red. Tiredness and guilt was written all over her face and JJ's whole demeanour looked almost small and defeated. No words were exchanged. She just stood aside letting him in the room and shutting the door behind them both. They stood facing each other in the centre of the room neither entirely sure where to start the inevitable conversation they were about to have. After minutes of standing in easy silence JJ sat down on the end of the bed and Hotch sat next to her taking her hand in his.

"I tried"

_**This was something I've had in mind for a while, hope someone out there likes it, there is more to the story which should be up soon, this chapter is just to set the scene. Thanks for taking the time to read, please let me know what you think in a review.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Truthfully, I totally forgot about this fic as I finished writing it ages ago, so I'm not even sure if people will still be interested but if you are it's probably best if you re-read the first chapter. I came across this and it made me a little depressed as it looks more and more likely that we're losing AJ, and we won't get any more JJ/Hotch scenes...sad times. BUT make sure you sign the petition and call that Nina woman, I don't have any links or numbers but they have been posted somewhere on this site already.**_

_**This is supposed to be a friendship fic but if you want to read more into it that's fine by me : )**_

_**Let me know what you think! **_

...

Hotch tightened his grip around her hand. Sighing as he looked in the mirror opposite them watching their reflections, solemnly he noted how JJ was trying to hold back tears. "JJ there was nothing you could have said that would have made any difference."

Speaking rather harshly JJ shook her head, "There should have been"

He tilted his head as he watched her as she stubbornly tried to shut down her emotions. She was building the wall that she had spent years perfecting in difficult times. Hotch didn't know where to start. He always knew whenever one of his team members were struggling with something he had to be there for them, he was their leader and they needed to know he was present and willing to help. He usually found it easy to talk to everyone.

With Rossi he could be straightforward and uncensored, in Hotch's mind they were friends rather than supervisor and subordinate. Morgan was fairly easy to approach as they've worked together for that long which meant the younger profiler listened to his words with respect. Prentiss, Garcia and Reid were also accessible; often they simply needed praise or reassurance which he could offer without fail. However with JJ it was different.

JJ was the one who was always there and usually reassured him. As the only other parent, she had been the one he came to talk about Jack whenever he needed confidence for being a parent. JJ was the one who would automatically take his unwanted calls, he'd delegate a lot of his paperwork to her and she wouldn't even bat an eye about the extra work when he was having difficulty staying on top of things after he lost Hailey. JJ would be the one person on the team that he would take any case she came to him with. JJ would always try to justify her choices but in all honesty he didn't need the justification, he trusted her and that was that. If she had difficulty with something she would come to him and they would discuss it. It has always been like that for as long as he could remember. He respected the liaison enough to give JJ her own space to deal with things and if she needed him he'd be there.

JJ would always come to his office door at the end of a long day and say goodnight and then she'd be the first member of the team he would see in morning, poised, caffeinated and ready for another day with a smile on her face.

Now there were no smiles. Both agents were still sat in silence the only sound in the room was the soft humming coming from the mini-fridge and the only light other than the dimmed bed lamp was the light coming from the muted television. Hotch was gently stroking her hand in slow, repetitive movements when she flinched, breaking the physical contact with him.

Breathing through the pain she whispered, "I'm sorry my hands are just sore"

He looked down and turned her hand over, tugging them softly towards the light. They were bright red and the skin was starting to peel. "What happened?"

JJ shrugged tiredly. "They were covered in blood. It wouldn't come off. It still feels like they're covered in it."

He looked down at her, she looked so small. All he wanted to was to pull her in an embrace and tell her everything was going to be okay. That she could just cry and let all of her pent up emotions out. Instead he stood and went into the bathroom and dampened a small towel with warm water picking up the hotel's hand moisturiser that was placed on the side of the sink. When he re-entered the bedroom, JJ was sitting cross-legged on the bed side wards, her hands were palm side up resting on her knees. He took his previous place but turned slightly, so he was facing her. Without permission he took her hands again and started to soothe the sore broken skin with the dampened cloth and watched as her reaction lingered between pain and relief. No words were spoken, occasionally JJ would moan in either pain or pleasure at Hotch's therapeutic touch, and then as he placed the moisturiser on her hands, she firmly re-established eye contact.

"Molly said she wanted to die, she already cut herself before I could get to her. I was standing right there thinking I could stop her by simply talking to her, I thought I was getting through to her too. When Grimshaw came back into the room, her eyes just... I don't know how to explain it" JJ's voice was barely above a whisper "It was if something just clicked in her head. She didn't even think about it, she just..."

"JJ. Molly had been through a lot. She saw her only option to stop her pain as taking her own life. There was nothing none of us would have been able to do Jaje. There was nothing you could have done." Hotch tried to sound convincing but he could see her struggling to accept his words.

She looked back down at both of their hands on her knees and he asked if they were any better which she nodded and thanked him for his help. Hotch lifted himself off of the bed, he threw the towel onto the chair in the corner of the room and put the kettle on for them so he could make them both a cup of tea. He was busy preparing the cups when he heard his name being called. As he turned he saw JJ with her large blues eyes looking up at him obviously struggling to ask him something.

"JJ?"

JJ gained her confidence and breathed in deeply, "What do you think she was thinking?"

"Who? Molly?" He asked somewhat confused at her head shaking slowly.

"No what do you think was going through my sister's head?"

_**...**_

_**I like to thank those who take the time to review, so THANKS to – FloatingAmoeba, deeda, flashpenguin, sheenabeena1 and breverson **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer, disclaimed!**_

_**Off to enjoy the rare sun and warmth in Northern England woo! Thanks to everyone who is reading, alerting and reviewing you guys are awesome hope you enjoy, let me know what you think.**_

...

It was obviously a question that had run through JJ's mind countless times over the last 20 something years. He could see her struggling to make sense in her own mind and was looking to him for an answer. The profiler faintly heard the kettle as it boiled behind him, making him snap out of his silence.

Hotch sighed scrubbing his face as he considered his next words carefully. "JJ... I... Erm. I don't know how I can answer that. I wish there was something I could say to help you to understand why she would..."

JJ waved her hands in submission, "its okay Hotch. That was unfair of me. You know I'm feeling a lot better now. You should go and try and get some rest."

He smiled at her and turned back to making the tea. "I'm not going anywhere JJ"

She smiled back at him, watching as he got on with his own little task. She didn't like the fact that he was seeing her at her most vulnerable time. The only people she told about her sister's suicide over the last few years were those she had to, Will being one of them, but she told Hotch because she wanted to. Because she needed him to know that while she could never understand how he felt over the way he lost Hailey she understood the pain of loss and not being able to make sense of a death that shouldn't have been.

When he turned back around to hand JJ the cup of brewed tea, she was staring at him intensely. He gave her the warm cup and they sat facing each other again in comfortable silence.

"I came to terms with my sister's death a long time ago Hotch. Although she's a constant thought in my head still. But I've come to terms with what she did and that she chose not to be here anymore." JJ nodded her determinedly while Hotch took a sip of his tea.

"I couldn't imagine losing Sean the way you lost your sister."

JJ placed her free hand on Hotch's knee trying to find stability mentally, before she responded "Her name was Allie. She was blonde with blue eyes just like me; we could never deny we were related even if we sometimes wanted to. She was on the honour roll, she was a cheerleader and she was this perfect daughter, you know, it was so annoying at times because she was who I was always compared to." JJ was grinning sadly as she spoke about her sister but soon her face became overcome with a troubled expression as she bit her bottom lip in recollection of her sister's death.

"I remember the knock at the door, my mom screamed and when I ran downstairs, mom was being held by one of the sheriff's deputies. My parents divorced when I was four so there was only the three of us in the house. Allie must have snuck out in the middle of the night into the woods. God I really don't like the woods."

"JJ if this is too hard..."

"I've never told anyone about the details. I told Will she died when we were young and that I didn't want to talk about it. My best friend at the time, Daisy, just knew what she did from the town rumours. But I want to talk about it with you, I want you to understand." He nodded before she took a sip of her drink "My Mom and Dad never talk about her, they both remarried and have kids and step kids and life just kind of continued for them. I don't blame them for not wanting to talk, I get that it's incredibly hard for them. I remember standing at the top of the stairs while the deputy explained what had happened. A neighbour was walking her dog in the woods behind our house. She found Allie slumped against a tree, she wasn't breathing. The coroner said she had high levels of subscription painkillers in her blood stream and she was cut up pretty badly"

There was a lengthy pause before Hotch could say anything in response "I'm so sorry"

JJ's voice was quiet but sounded somewhat hurt "Do you think she realised..."

"JJ" Hotch interrupted her line of thought believing it was nearly dangerous for her to continue on this path.

"God I'm a mess. I shouldn't be laying all of this on you. It happened that long ago you'd think I'd be better at talking about this"

She was crumbling and he wasn't sure how much of this conversation she could take. "You said it yourself; you haven't really talked about it properly."

JJ tilted her head managing a sad smile "I was angry at her and that made me hate myself because a part of me thought that I should have been able to help her"

"You were eleven, JJ. I can't tell you why your sister did what she did or what she were thinking. I have no idea why she would want to... I can tell you statistics and the usual signs and reasons but you know all of that already." He could see her processing and shifting uncomfortably.

"Hotch why do you do this job?"

"You've asked me that before" He smirked at JJ and she nodded "I wasn't sure, I guess I'm still not but since everything that happened with Foyet. It keeps me in control. It helps me protect my loved ones and... I know what's out there. I guess I couldn't stop even if I wanted too now."

"Why do you do you think I do this job?"

"JJ we don't inter team profile."

"You know as well as I do that the whole team does it, every single day. You can't tell me you guys don't"

Their eyes were locked while they spoke frankly to each other. "JJ why do you keeping asking questions you already know the answers to?"

"I'm starting to doubt myself... I'm starting to think that, maybe, my job isn't effective for anything other than to just bring pain to people."

He opened his mouth slightly while his mind tried to figure out what he should say. "Jaje trust me, pain is the last thing you cause people. What you do give people is hope and that is something that they need. By thinking you could have helped your sister all of those years ago you've become driven to help the most people who've ran out of options and while you're an amazing agent and the most kind and honest woman I know, it means cases like this one are going to get to you and wear you down, especially if you keep bottling everything up."

JJ rolled her eyes "You bottle everything up"

"I probably shouldn't" Hotch shrugged his shoulders whilst speaking softly.

She mentally berated herself knowing he was going too far with the back chat. "Hotch. I'm sorry I shouldn't push you. You can just tell me to shut up"

"JJ I would never tell you to shut up."

They both laughed. It was an honest laugh and the first time Hotch had seen some kind of normal gleam in JJ's ocean blue eyes. He pushed himself further up the bed so he could rest his back against the headboard and placed his cup on the bedside table. JJ shuffled next him and they sat shoulder to shoulder. He turned his head seeing that she was nearly the same old JJ he knew for the last seven and a half years.

"JJ I've got to thank you."

...

_**I've had this story wrote for a while now and while writing I may have used some of this fic in other stories that I may or may not have published, so if anything seems like it is being repeated that is the reason why... sorry! Thanks to EmmaBerlin and DrNikiReid for reviewing I love hearing from people who are reading! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimed!**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/alerted/read so far, you are all great and for that, you get an extra lengthy chapter with a lot of backstory made up in it. Let me know what you think!**

...

She looked up at Hotch, confused at his admission "Thank me for what?"

He smiled and looked straight ahead towards their reflections again, "For being there when I needed you. You were the one who looked after Jack straight after it all happened and kept him occupied. I know you were the one who talked to him about what was going on and that you told him...You were the one who told him that though Hailey loved us, she wasn't coming back but we were both going to be okay eventually. You told him it was okay to be sad and to miss his mommy and I've never thanked you for that."

He spoke softly and appreciatively but he still sounded as though he were choosing his words extremely carefully. JJ understood that talking about Hailey was difficult for him after all it was barely two years ago that Foyet had killed her. The team had worried how Hotch would ever come back from losing his high school sweetheart but they needn't of worried, he had come back stronger and more determined to catch the 'bad guys,' as Jack would say. He wasn't the same person, nobody would be after going through what he did, but Hotch was always their leader, he was always the man who was the spine of the group, keeping them all straight and together.

"Jack was asking me for his mommy and I didn't want you to have to go through telling Jack what he needed to hear so soon after the attack. I know it wasn't really my place but he looked so confused and I..."

Hotch placed his hand on her arm to interrupt her, "No, JJ you really helped. I mean he didn't really get what actually happened for a long time after Hailey's death but because you talked to him and were with him. My son got through that day and even though I broke down, I knew you were with him and that helped tremendously."

JJ smiled softly up to him in recognition. "I would do anything for you and Jack, the whole team would. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know" Their hands found each other's once more and now Hotch was the one with tears glistening in his eyes "If anything Hailey's death has made me more reliant on the people around me and it has made me realise that I wouldn't know what I would do if I didn't have you guys."

"We're not going anywhere fast Hotch" The unit chief turned looking down at the shorter blonde woman next to him. She returned his soft gaze with a half smile and she squeezed his hand that was still encompassing hers.

"JJ" He paused assessing the situation, not wanting to upset he again "JJ, when you told me about your sister on the plane on the way home from the Wyoming case, you helped me realise that I couldn't keep letting the grief define me and take control over me. You weren't the only one who told me that it would get easier but you were the first who said it that I believed."

JJ sniffled considering whether or not she should ask him something they've all wanted to know. "Hotch can I ask you something?"

"Sure" He nodded sceptically

JJ subconsciously bit her lip and shifted a little against the headboard, "Why do you have to be so in control of everything?"

After a few moments of silence, Hotch cleared his throat. He usually didn't talk about his personal life to anyone, especially about his upbringing, but their relationship was based on a two way system of trust and respect that had been perfected over the many years of working with each other. Sighing he realised that he hadn't really spoke about either of his parents since his mother's death nine years ago and didn't necessarily know where to start.

"Erm, I guess it's because of my parents. My dad wasn't really there that much, if he wasn't at work he'd be with some new woman he met. My parents never divorced because they viewed it as improper, instead they'd prefer to ignore what was going on. My father was out of control most of the time acting half his age but my mother was just trying to keep it together by lashing out at others. She could say some stuff that would get to me when she had enough of my dad. I guess when she got into one of her moods I started to close myself off from others too because I believed what she was saying. My dad died from lung cancer when I was fifteen, and I just totally shut down emotionally. My mom remarried not long after, to a lawyer and he was a good guy but she was the same old person. When she had Sean things got a lot better but when Eric died, that's my step dad, things got a lot worse. I tried to stop her getting to Sean, she was never physically violent but some of the things she said could hurt."

He couldn't look at her; he was feeling as vulnerable as JJ was earlier. JJ tried to turn his gaze to her instead off of the far wall, "Oh Hotch. I'm sorry"

"It's okay" His voice dryly interrupted.

"No Aaron. I'm really sorry that you've had so much loss in your in life and for what it's worth, you're neither of your parents"

He smiled thankfully, leaning into her shoulder and nudging her as his voice got somewhat lighter "What you mean I'm not a bully?"

JJ closed her eyes, trying to stop the red blush creep up her cheeks. "Hotch about that."

"You don't have to explain JJ. We were all under increasing stress when Reid got kidnapped and we both know what you were referring too. There was no need for me to even bring it up."

"I still shouldn't have said it. We moved on a long time ago from there. I can't believe you still remember what I said to you in Georgia." Her head was now in hands attempting to cover up her embarrassment.

Hotch laughed rather loudly. "Yeah well I thought I'd apologised about being a bully"

"You did and you're not a bully. I should probably apologise for then too, it was more of a misunderstanding"

"It wasn't a misunderstanding JJ, I was an ass and I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did."

"Hotch, you didn't know me then, we got passed it."

"I'm glad we did get pass it though." He stopped and turned towards her "Wait what did you have to apologise for?"

She looked at him realising he really didn't have a clue, "I apologised for calling you an ass in front of the reporters"

"You called me an ass in front of the reporters?"

"And I apologise for that." JJ tried to hide her smile that threatened to surface.

Hotch's mouth opened a couple of time before he could say what he thought she apologised for, "Yeah but I thought you were apologising because we didn't get off to the best start?"

JJ coughed and tried to suppress the amused smirk that was forming on her face, "Oh well, I'm sorry that I called you an ass in front of the reporters and now for us not getting off to the best start but let's be honest, I was perfectly nice the first time we met, you were the one who kept calling me the 'the blonde girl'."

Playfully, Hotch replied, "You were the one who kept bossing my agents around"

"Only because there were dozens of reporters circling the crime scene like vultures and you kept letting everyone of my team know you where the head of the field office by intimidating them"

"We've been here before."

They both were genuinely smiling at each other amused at how light the conversation had become. It had been a tough couple of days and neither of them would have believed that they'd be this comfortable talking to each other about the difficulties of their first encounter that occurred before either of them where situated in Virginia.

JJ nodded "The last time we had this discussion it ended pretty well for me"

"You're not mad that I persuaded you to come and work in the BAU through manipulation?"

JJ shrugged at his question. "No, but your manipulation is only mediocre, and that's not why I agreed to come and work with you and the team"

He gently snorted with humour remembering how shocked JJ looked when he showed up at her office in New York. He turned and faced her again, "So why did you agree to come to Quantico."

"You looked kind of desperate"

They both laughed again and Hotch placed his hands up in front of him as a sign of agreement, "Okay granted I went all the way to New York to talk to you. Yes I was in over my head with reporters calling about the Bale case and although technically I wasn't officially unit chief yet I still knew that the BAU needed a good media liaison. After the Rory Franklin case in Seattle, I knew you could handle the job. I probably shouldn't have started the conversation with a threat but I knew you could handle me without using your gun. I mean I don't think I've ever been so apologetic after yelling at someone."

JJ smirked remembering how calm she was when she determinedly diffused Hotch's outburst at her at a crime scene in Seattle. Her previous team had been asked to come in to assist one of Hotch's team with a suspected sleeper cell that had been killing their informants in public places. "You towered above me and yelled at me in the middle of a crime scene in front of a boat load of people for helping victims' families and then you had the cheek to order me to lie to them"

"I thought you were using the families to promote your team's credibility." Hotch stated exhaustibly as though he'd said it a million times before. "After the third killing I thought that maybe one of the fathers' might have been involved so I asked you to lie"

"Asked?" He shrugged before she defended her previous team and herself, "My former unit didn't care about credibility and I would never use victims' families like that. You didn't even give any reasons why I had to lie apart from telling me your rank in the bureau"

"I know that. But I didn't know you then and come on I also wanted to prove I was in charge, when you start organising things you can get a little intimidating"

"I'm intimidating?" She mockingly looked shocked and feebly back handed his arm.

"People underestimate you; I did when I first met you. The way you handle cops and agents, families and victims is amazing even though sometimes the way you deal with reporters is a little fearsome. I don't know if you've noticed but the rest of us tend to get a little awkward when we have to deal with people."

"You guys manage just fine. It's just sometimes you all get a little too focused on the UNSUB and the crime that you all can forget the involvement of others and how the case impacts them."

"It's a good job we've got you to remind us then"

"Yeah well, I know what it's like to be on the other side."

JJ looked down remembering their earlier discussion about her past and Hotch was about to start talking, hoping to say something reassuring when he got interrupted by the shrill noise of JJ's cell phone. He watched as she reached over to the bedside table and he checked his wrist watch. 11:42 pm. Hotch observed how JJ straightened when she talked to the other person on the phone, diplomatically she got the person to agree to her point of view although he was amused at how she would bite her lip when the phone caller would give her difficulty and then she finally smiled obviously satisfied as she hung up the phone.

Referring to the people in general who are in need of their assistance on a particular case and call his friend at all godforsaken hours, Hotch smirked at JJ's roll of her blue eyes as she placed the phone on the bedside table. "Are they always that persistent?"

...

_**A HUGE , MASSIVE, GIGANTIC, **_**THANK YOU**___**with bells on it, to deeda (for being awesome :D) and another just as huge, THANK YOU to ReadingRed and Michaela1998 for reviewing!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimed!**_

_**Hi to everyone reading, this chapter just continues straight on from the last, I split it so it wasn't too long! Let me know what you think!**_

_**...**_

"At least he was polite, there's nothing worse than been woken by some jerk who yells down the phone at 2 in the morning." JJ scoffed remembering the countless times she nearly threw her phone out of a window after a rude awakening.

"I thought you liked helping the poor and desperate cop?"Hotch raised his eyebrow enjoying feeling relaxed around one of his co workers.

"Even I have my limits Hotch"

"Don't we all" He agreed picking up his cup and making a dissatisfying face when he realised his beverage was now cold. JJ was looking at him lost in her own thoughts when he waved a hand in front of her eyes.

"Sorry, I was just thinking that, I can't imagine the pressure you put yourself under. I mean you're a leader of pretty dysfunctional team at times. You profile the sickest minds in the country. You've been through so much personally and professionally and got through all of them. On top of it all, you're a single father, which trust me I know looking after a kid by yourself is no walk in the park."

His face became neutral almost as though he was not sure of how to reply, "How are you doing, with Henry I mean?"

"Nice transference" JJ bit her lip temporarily forgetting that he was her boss.

He tilted his head and his dimples appeared as he smiled through his response "It's my specialty"

JJ gave a defeated laugh, "It's not easy. I don't love the fact I've got to leave my kid with Garcia or the babysitter when I leave, but I need to keep a roof over us. I wish I could be there more."

"Yeah, I know the feeling" He stared down at his hands, knowing the common feelings of regret.

"Do you think our son's are going to hate us when they're older?"

Mockingly he retorted, "You don't think they do already"

JJ ran her fingers through her slightly damp hair, "God don't say that, I'm hoping I've still got a couple more years of ignorant bliss."

"JJ? Can I ask you something?"

Referring back to her earlier question JJ smugly answered "Why am I so controlled? Honestly I don't know but if today is anything to go by then my nerves are made of steel."

He sniggered at her sarcasm "That's not what I was going to ask"

"Okay, what then?" It was her turn to feel apprehensive before a question was asked.

He hesitated before he asked the personal question. Something that he wouldn't have wanted to be asked himself, "What happened with you and Will, you guys looked as though it was working out?"

Surprised that he would be so forward as to probing into her personal life, her eyes became wide and she unconsciously opened and closed her mouth a couple of times feeling like a deer caught in headlights. "You didn't listen to the office gossip?"

"No" His voice was firm and stoic.

JJ's eyes mockingly widened. "Really cos you're usually a gossip"

Gasping and acting hurt he looked down at her finding it difficult to keep a straight face for once in his life, "I'm not a gossip JJ"

"Ha please between you and Penelope..."

Hotch interrupted his blonde friend with a smirk. "I just pass on valuable information when required to the appropriate people."

"Uh-huh." JJ raised her eyes in response to his little statement. She knew Hotch found it difficult talking about his life with Hailey and his childhood so JJ began to explain what happened in the breakdown of her relationship with the Cajun detective. "Will wanted to get married, move away and have more kids, I hesitated, we argued and he left. Three days later he showed up, we argued again and now I haven't heard from him for nearly five months."

"I'm sorry, it's never easy when there's kids involved" His voice was sincere but he couldn't meet her eyes that he knew were watching him.

She shrugged him off before revealing something she kept hidden since it all happened. "In all honesty, I think I was a little relieved"

Hotch raised his eyes and berated himself as soon as his question left his lips. "Did you not love him?"

JJ's eyes widened at the frankness of the question. "Yeah, of course... I mean, I think I did and I thought I tried but relationships have never been my strong point. Ever since I started seeing him, I think a part of me has been waiting for it to end. Don't get me wrong I tried to commit this time, if only for Henry's sake sometimes. I tried to let him in but looking back, I know I was constantly checking my behaviour. Every time I got home, I would have this little quiet panic attack because Henry needed his dad and I was trying to make it work so hard without screwing it all up."

Hotch nodded being able to relate to the situation his communication coordinator was in, "I can understand that"

"You don't think I'm an awful person?" Quizzically, JJ looked at him.

"No JJ, I don't. When Hailey and I were still together, I'd go home and worry that I wasn't doing enough to make her happy. I guess in the end I didn't do enough. But with this job, it becomes a part of you and others don't get that."

Nervously JJ played her fingers avoiding his gaze, "I'm sorry it got so bad between you and Hailey, during the divorce. I always admired the way you two tried to remain somewhat civil for Jack though."

Dismally, Hotch smiled and again he re-established eye contact, "I realised you were put in the middle a lot. You knew what was going on before the rest of the team with all of the angry phone calls and my late nights in the office. I appreciate that you didn't say anything to anyone when it was all going on and that you'd force me to get sleep."

"Well it wasn't my place to say anything and by the way, you get crabby when you don't sleep so I was looking out for everyone." She smirked slightly leaning into him.

"Wow, I'm learning a lot from this conversation, not only do I get crabby when I don't sleep but I'm a gossip, intimidating, a bad manipulator but I'm not a bully anymore so I guess that's one good thing."

She laughed at his checklist, "Bet you wish you never came to check on me now huh?"

"What and miss out on the personal revelations" Hotch stated dryly observing how JJ's face turned from playful to sincerity.

"Thanks for coming and for staying"

He nodded softly. "I know you where effected by this case, I wanted to be here for you. After all the amount of times you've been there for me..."

"Hotch you've been there for me plenty of times."JJ interrupted him, not wanting him to feel as though he's let down someone else.

"Not enough though. It's only when you look extremely pissed off or when you are actually crying that I know something's up with you. I concentrate on the rest of the team because I expect you to be able to deal with it all. That's not fair of me I know, but all the times I've seen you help families and victims and deal with emotional cops and arrogant reporters. I just expect you to be, well, you"

They paused, simply watching each other react to Hotch's last words. Clearing her throat JJ broke the silence. "I'll take that as a compliment"

Hotch nodded nudging her slightly with his shoulder. "You should, I know I couldn't do your job half as well as you can"

"Really? I thought profilers could do anything?"Once again trying to make their conversation light hearted.

"Just because everyone wants to be a profiler doesn't mean it's because we can do everything" He laughed sarcastically pretending to be superior.

JJ was feeling a hell of a lot better than she did an hour ago and she knew that was because Hotch had an ability to make her feel safer somehow, if not from things and people that could hurt her but from her own mind. "You should be this relaxed more often, Hotch"

He nodded his eyes still mischievous but his smirk lessened, "Well you're easy to talk to"

"Because I don't profile?"

Hotch scoffed, rolling his eyes, "Don't kid yourself Jennifer Jareau, you profile all of us every single day, don't say that you don't"

It was JJ's turn to mock being hurt, "Ouch, using my full name and my own words against me, that is a low blow Hotch"

While Hotch was still sitting with his legs up on the bed and his back was against the headboard, JJ had turned to face him with her legs crossed and her arms supporting her upper wait on her legs.

"Why don't you like been called Jennifer?"

"School, I get flashbacks of geometry and getting told off." She smirked before she continued answering his question "Also when I was a kid my dad started to call me JJ and it kind of stuck. I was never really a girly girl, I preferred running around getting muddy rather than playing with the dolls on the porch. So he started to call me JJ to annoy my mom who would insist he should call me Jennifer because it made me sound more feminine"

"So are you close to your dad?"

"Not so much now. I'm close to his sister, my aunt Rose. After Allie died we sort of drifted, I think I reminded him of her and it was too difficult to be around me. He has my step brothers and his wife, and I'll sometimes see him when I go home but other than then I don't really hear from him." Hotch could see from her body language that there was no pain or resentment, just acceptance of her relationship with her father

"Me and my mom stopped talking for a while when I joined the Bureau, she didn't approve, she wanted me to be a teacher or a coach or something. Not running around with a gun and travelling so much, but when I found out I was having Henry, we both made more of an effort. She remarried not long after we lost Allie and has other kids to interfere with. I've got a pretty big family, but if I think about it I don't really feel that connected to them."

"Why not?"

JJ shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, "I didn't want that small town life they all love. I hardly ever make it back home or call to see how they all are and I'm usually working national holidays so I rarely spend festive periods with them... I also feel guilty."

"Because of Allie?" He regretted saying her sister's name as JJ stiffened.

Sorrowfully she slanted her head closed her eyes briefly, "Yeah...She should be there too."

"I'm sorry I turned the conversation back to serious mode"

Astonished her jaw fell, she giggled before she grabbed one of the pillows to place on her lap, "Because seriousness is not at all you"

He smiled gently mumbling something before speaking more clearly, "What can I say the kid that wanted to be a cowboy turned into a serious prosecutor turned FBI agent who only smiles when necessary."

...

_**Shout outs go to; deeda (before I get wrong :P) ReadingRed, CMW2 and whimsical-one-ga... thank you for reviewing! **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer – see other chapters!**_

_**Thanks to everyone who is still reading this is nearly finished, just one chapter to go, but I might write more, who knows! Let me know what you think!**_

_**...**_

JJ was leaning over trying to control the pain that came with laughing so hard, "A cowboy? Really? A cowboy?"

"What is so funny about me wanting to be a cowboy? I was six and I loved watching all the old western movies."

"Nothing's funny." JJ was finding it hard to talk through the laughing, "It's nothing, really. I'm just trying to picture you in a cowboy hat and on a horse"

He leant forward and softly pushed her back. JJ lay there giggling to herself while Hotch watched her completely at ease, something he wasn't entirely sure he'd seen before. JJ's eyes were playful again as she shifted her body around and rolled over so she was lying on her stomach facing him again. Her head was resting on raised arms which were given some height off the pillow underneath them.

Deciding to question JJ's mocking he reversed the roles, "Are you telling me you always wanted to be in communications?"

"God no, but being a lepidopterist required good grades and that's something I didn't achieve"

His hazel eyes scrunched together, "It sounds painful"

She nudged his leg, "It's a person who studies butterflies and moths"

"What is your fascination with butterflies about?"

"I don't know." Her blonde hair fell around her face, she shrugged her shoulders while she readjusted the escaped locks. "When I was younger I liked them because they can fly and I always wanted to fly away and when I was really little the patterns on the wings were pretty but in all honesty it's the whole amazing...Why are you laughing at me?" JJ looked at him in disbelief poking the side of his leg with her finger.

Hotch had his eyes closed and his head was tilted back as he chuckled to himself, "I'm just trying to picture you hunting down butterflies with a big net"

JJ raised her eyes mischievously. "Trust me it's not as funny as you in a cowboy boots with spurs"

They stared at each other, amusement swimming in their now cheerful eyes, laughing once again filled the generically dull hotel room, but soon Hotch tried to control his breathing after uncharacteristically being in a fit of laughter, "I don't think I've laughed this much in a long time"

"It's been a while huh?"JJ sat up again and crossed her legs after she shuffled closer up the bed so they could face each other properly at the same eye length.

In a low tone Hotch's attention turned towards the door deciding to try and change the conversation to something less funny, without ruining their now casual discussion, "You think we've woken the team up"

"Nah, if we did they'd be banging on the door wondering what the hell is going on. I'm not sure I've been the most pleasant person to be around lately" JJ rolled he eyes thinking about the last few weeks, she knew that her breakup with Will had caused her a lot more pain than she cared to admit and most of the team had noticed. Not to mention her mini nervous breakdown earlier on that night.

Deciding to try and stop JJ re-running earlier events, Hotch thought of something he was going to bring up before the incident at Hancock's place. "I heard Morgan snapped at you again the other day?" Rossi had come to him not long after they landed on the tarmac enquiring about Agent Morgan's attitude towards their media liaison, which Hotch had told him he'd deal with.

JJ nodded and rolled her eyes in annoyance "I handled it"

"I know that's why I haven't said anything until now. You and Morgan have never had the most cohesive friendship"

Hotch smirked as JJ nodded "I have no idea why"

"It's probably to do with trust, there aren't many people he truly trusts."

"I know he's been through a lot as a kid, Hotch. But Morgan trusts everyone on the team, except when I come into the briefing room with a case, he becomes 'Doubting Derek'" JJ exasperated as she used her fingers to highlight her last words.

"He's fine when I give him orders" Hotch smiled as JJ interrupted him with an eye roll.

"That's because he likes and respects you, he's always questioned my ability. He forgets that I went through the same FBI training as him, I just choose a different speciality than he did."

"I wouldn't take it so personally JJ" Hotch nudged the blonde slightly

"Wouldn't you? If one of the guys kept questioning your objectivity, you wouldn't take it personally?"

"JJ, you came onto the team after we lost six agents to help deal with the aftermath. Since then you've become more involved and active with cases and Morgan's noticed. Besides being a parent changes a person and we've talked before about that, but I would have stepped in if you weren't being objective. And then there's the fact that you're not a profiler although you are more than competent and yet, you go through all the cases and choose which one we go on. Yes I know we go through a couple of cases together at the end of the day to dwindle down the numbers, but nine times out of ten you chose the case we go on."

JJ's jaw dropped as Hotch listed problems Morgan might have against her. "So Morgan doesn't like the fact that I'm a mom and not a profiler."

"He's an alpha male JJ and you're pissing on his territory" There was a beat of silence as their eyes locked.

"He's threatened? God how come I didn't realise that I was this intimidating?"

Hotch shrugged. "Morgan probably doesn't even realise it. You bring us cases, telling us they need our help. Morgan doesn't mean to underestimate you and I know for a fact that he doesn't mean to offend you, when I stepped down as unit chief he sang your praises. I think when he publically questions your choices, it's just his way of reassuring himself that we're doing the right thing."

"I always question my choices. Whenever I choose one case, I discount half a dozen others. I spend most of my time worrying about all the cases I turn down but until the case files are on someone else's desk, they're still my responsibility and I hate the fact that we can't help everyone. That's why I only give you profiler's a few case files each week and away from all of the other cases that come across my desk cos if I didn't you'll want to take each one, which we can't. I just wish Morgan would lay off sometimes." Her hands were emotive as she confessed the difficulties she faces every day.

He let her take a breath, seeing how flustered he decided he should ask her even though he knew his offer was going to be declined, "Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

Immediately her head was shaking, "God no. I can handle Morgan myself. I just wind myself up sometimes over it." JJ crept of the bed grabbing the TV remote that was lying next to a stack of case files on the desk under the mirror. "I mean, I don't tell you profilers how to your jobs, he should just let me get on with my job. I mean how many cases have I chose that haven't been worth it?"

Their eye contact was indissoluble as she tried to convince herself she was doing her job correctly, "None and JJ?"

"Yeah?" JJ watched him as she took her place on the bed once more.

"You're winding yourself up again" Hotch was smirking mischievously enjoying the feeling of not being tense.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder again before JJ smiled softly, "I know. I'm sorry for grumbling on." She indicated down to the remote in her hand. "Do you wanna watch a bad movie or sports reruns or something?"

Taking the remote from her hand with a smile he pointed it to the screen, "Sure, let see what's on?"

...

_**Wow there's a lot of people who are alerting this fic so HI to everyone! And a huge thanks to ReadingRed, whimsical-one-ga and breverson and of course deeda! **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimed!**_

_**After I started writing this ages ago, it is finally finished, sad times, but there's good news, I've got a few things wrote which could lead on from this fic woo! Thanks to everyone who has been reading, hope you enjoy the last chapter. Let me know what you think :)**_

_**...**_

"SO MAKE SURE YOU WRAP UP WARM FOLKS. IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER CHILLY DAY..."

Hotch stirred as he leaned on the remote, turning up the volume. Hearing the weatherman bellow out his report stirred the pair of them. Hotch had his arms wrapped around the abdomen of the petite woman who was lying with her back fitting perfectly into his hold, her left leg was wedged in between his two legs and while the TV had disturbed both from their deep slumber, the position was far too comfortable to move.

"Mmm, make it quiet" She swatted his hands that were around her and Hotch unwillingly removed one of them as he blindly hunted for the remote he was lying on. The room was once again quiet and Hotch placed his hand back to where it previously rested. His head had been resting on top of JJ's mango and papaya shampoo scented hair, and while he tried to concentrate on going back to sleep he became all of a sudden extremely self conscious and felt rather awkward hugging his sleepy colleague so closely.

The morning sun was beaming through the slight split between the curtains indicating that they must have been asleep for at least a couple of hours. The last thing he could remember before waking up was watching an old black and white movie with Jimmy Stewart playing a shop clerk that JJ had goofily insisted on trying to impersonate at two in the morning. Hotch freed JJ from his grip as he raised his wrist watch to eye level, he cringed upon seeing it was already a little after seven thirty.

JJ moaned as he carefully pulled away, leaving her to the elements without his warmth from the embrace. He made his way into the bathroom noting the bloody towel and clothes in the corner near the bath, something he must have missed last night. During the night he had felt his tortured friend fight against a nightmare that was most likely caused from witnessing Molly's death, but when he pulled her closer into his body she relaxed so he mistakenly thought nothing more of it. After freshening up, Hotch made his way back into the bedroom to be greeted with a barely awake JJ.

"Is everything okay?" With rustled blonde hair, JJ sat up, rubbing her eyes gently while looking at her supervisor who was watching her with a grin as she attempted to pull herself around to the world of the living.

"Yeah everything's fine, how are you feeling this morning?" Hotch spoke softly, not wanting to spoil the tranquil mood the room was filled with, due to the earliness of the day and the light from the break in the curtains, which was casting a golden, yellow haze.

"I'm good. What time is it?" JJ tried to mask the yawn that was escaping from deep within her.

Breaking eye contact he looked down at his watch, "It's nearly 7.40. The team is going to meet at eight for breakfast before heading to the airfield, you up for something to eat?"

Their eyes locked intensely and silently, while not breaking the gaze they had established once more, JJ climbed off of the bed making her way to stand in front of her tall, raven haired friend who had insisted on not leaving her alone at her time of need. She lifted her arms around his neck softly pushing her lithe body into his. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and they stood in the middle of the room where their night had begun. After what could have been an eternity in an innocent embrace, JJ turned her head sweetly giving him a little kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you"

They slightly parted and he gave her an honest smile while rubbing slow circles on her left shoulder. "Anytime"

Their eyes were locked once more. After years of working together they formed a silent communication system which was now in full effect. JJ knows Hotch is looking at her needing to know that she is alright to be left alone. He doesn't want her to feel that she's being abandoned. Hotch knows that JJ's trying to convince him that she's not one hundred percent okay but she will be. The unit chief within him soon takes over as he nods and JJ stands aside but quickly he turned before opening the door. "I'll see you downstairs?"

JJ smiled at his awkward stance, "Yeah, save me a seat"

Once again he turned not managing to open the door. This time he retraced his steps back to standing opposite the confused woman. He took a deep breath making sure her ocean blue eyes were focused on his, "Jaje, you're the toughest person I know. I hope you know how much I respect you and how valuable you are to this unit"

Wrapping her fragile hand his JJ looked up into his determined gaze, "You're pretty valuable yourself Hotch"

He squeezed her hand in recognition of her words both smiling at each other's attempt at a pep talk, "See you downstairs." Hotch repeated his former words and JJ softly nodded. As Hotch stood in the hotel corridor in front of JJ's closed door, he rubbed his forehead. He knew JJ was going to be okay, she always was, but still he was concerned. The opening of another door further down the corridor disturbed his thinking. David Rossi strode out only to stop, smirking at the younger man in front of him. Rossi's eyes were raised accusingly, "Where you in JJ's room all night?"

"She needed someone, Dave" Hotch attempted to walk past him to try and avoid his long time friend's less than innocent innuendos.

Rossi smirked at his response. "Uh huh."

"Dave!" Hotch turned around practically begging him to stop by giving him a stern glare.

Rossi nodded seeing that it hadn't been an easy night for his workaholic and emotionally stunted friend, "I'll see you at breakfast Aaron"

Meanwhile behind the door that had caused a night of breaking emotional boundaries that both of the usually private agents were normally so reluctant of even approaching, JJ was focusing on getting herself ready by standing tensely under the scalding water that was dripping pathetically from the shower head. Behind her tightly closed eyes, she saw Molly's scared expression, JJ heard the young girl begging her to let the pain end, only for seconds later to see Molly's distressed face transform into Allie. JJ's older sister just stood where Molly once did, silent and serine. The experienced agent opened her eyes, letting the water burn her nightmare away, knowing it wasn't healthy to keep thinking like she was. Turning off the water and reaching for the towel, the churning of plumbing made a low growl forcing thoughts of the Henkel's barn, that usually haunt her dreams, to the forefront. By the time she dried her hair and was fully dressed, countless victims and their families had passed through JJ's mind and now as she packed her belongings the Blackberry, which relentlessly rang informing her of nationwide horrors, pierced the hotel room with a shrill tone.

A quarter of an hour later JJ walked through the hotel reception, familiar laughter drew the weary Pennsylvanian to the dining room where the team was causing a commotion around a table in the centre of a practically empty room. Reid was clumsily, trying to mop up split coffee with a napkin while Prentiss and Morgan were in stitches of laughter, ridiculing the young genius instead of helping him. Rossi sat with a smirk at the sight in front of him and she watched as Hotch's attention turned from the situation at the breakfast table to the observing blonde. He could see from her tired gaze that everything wasn't right but as their eyes met JJ shrug him off with a thin smile.

"Here Spence, use these" JJ approached the table, handing Reid some more napkin's from the side table she had passed, her motherly instincts kicking in.

"Thank you. You do realise that the trick would have worked if you didn't knock my arm?" The doctor accusingly eyed Morgan who tried to hide his smug grin with a 'what-me' look.

All the team gave their colleague concerned glances as she sat next to their unit chief, although they continued to mock Reid as he attempted to clean up the mess he made. Which JJ was thankful for, it meant they knew that she had a tough day yesterday but they weren't going to draw attention to it. Listening to the joking banter, Hotch unexpectedly extended his hand to JJ's under the table, gently tightening his grip, trying to avoid causing her tender hand any pain. JJ's puppy dog eyes turned upwards, she gave him a reassuring smile and he nodded pulling away his hand slowly.

Looking around the table at her jovial teammates, the dark thoughts that had recently plagued her disturbed mind temporarily disappeared. She knew too well that they couldn't save everyone and not every case ended with what felt like a win, but at precious moments when she was relaxed with those she cared about around her, JJ was grateful that they at least had tried to make a difference. Hotch's statement in her hotel room wasn't completely true. She wasn't the toughest person he knew, she was just trying to survive the difficult days, as they all were.

...

_**So that's it, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read. Lots have you have alerted and reviewed and you're all awesome. Special thanks goes to deeda, anon, angry penguin and everyone else who has reviewed over the last seven chapters! **_


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